A funny take on being an Apple fanatic

A funny take on being an Apple fanatic at Startribune

Here's an excerpt:

But this Sanyo FG4983 MP3 player has a Marine Band tuner and a GPS module that lets you listen in to Pacific Ocean shipping chatter, and you can overclock it so it runs Warcraft in emulation mode! Sorry, I didn't hear you, I was listening to a song a FEMALE gave me. Oh, did I use a cruel word? FEMALE? Yes, I know several. You'd meet some, too, if you came to the secret iPod parties. Directions are included with every model.

And another:

On the other hand: If your machine is useless because you somehow contracted malware / spyware / adware, and every time you try to use the Internet your machine sends you to sites that would make the Marquis De Sade think well, that's different, you might want to look at a Mac