Google + Apple = Gapple? Gopple?

Ok, ok. The title's pretty crummy but the news that the CEO of Google has joined Apple's Board of Directors. When you hear a news like this, speculations abound. One of the most resounding speculation was that Apple and Google will merge. For what? To create the ultimate web OS? Maybe not. What if Apple saw Google's foray into the free wifi initiative as a potential for ka-ching! How?

Think about this. Rumors abound of the "Wireless iPod" coming soon. What's the point? Now imagine Google's push into giving free wifi to the entire United States. If there's an Apple and Google collaboration, imagine an American walking along the street and a long forgotten song suddenly pops into mind after hearing a cat meowing and a door slamming at the same time. What to do? He doesn't want to forget that song again. He wants to know whether he can get that song NOW.

He whips out his wiPod (Get it? Wifi + iPod?) and is instantly connected to the iTMMS (iTunes Music and Movie Store) using Googles extensive network of free and available wifi. He finds the song and downloads it to his wiPod, all within two minutes. Oops. He forgot to watch last night's episode of "Lost and then Found." He has time to kill during his commute. Click, scroll, click. Downloading while sipping a Google cafe latte he bought from Googlebucks (or StarGoogle). Five to ten minutes he's done. He walks away happy, sipping his latte, knowing that Apple's proprietary wireless technology and DRM has just made his day.

Weird vision of the future. Maybe. But why else would Apple drag in a Google CEO into its boardroom? well, yeah. There's that thing about tweaking Microsoft's nose. I mean, Apple IS in the offensive here (ever watched the latest "I'm a Mac and I'm a PC" ads?). Then again, Microsoft being the big, lumbering behemoth that it is might not actually get it. Maybe Schidmt (Google's CEO) ought to start throwing stones into Microsoft's face to get its attention.

Wow. Imagine. With a wiPod in your hand, you can download a song (or TV show or movie) anywhere. That is, as long as anywhere is in the US of A.

But I have problems with this vision of mine. Number one: will Apple actually disenfranchise the millions of its non-US customers by offering a product that has a feature that can only be used in the US? Then again, maybe Google can provide free wifi to the entire world. NOT! Number two: it sucks... battery. No way can a device with wireless capabilities be of much use for more than six hours a day. I don't like that. That's why I don't like the idea of MP3-phones. You suck the battery dry and miss that very important call (I learned my lesson in having my cellphone with me all the time). Unless Apple can create an ultra-low powered chip for wireless, then forget about the wiPod (There is news that a former-Apple employee has joined a battery company). Number three: has Google even started with their free wifi? Nope.

So there you are; a view of the future that is as uninteresting as watching some eat a brocolli Unless it's Carmen Electra. I could probably watch her sip water the whole day.

Why even bother writing this stuff down? It's because this thought occured while listening to a podcast (I don't remember whether it was the Tech Night Owl Live or Macworld or The MacObserver Roundup) and as it usually goes, interesting things pop into my brain as I head to the bathroom and while I take a shower. Also, a SMB Strong Ice helps me write such a long and boring post with conviction.

That's about it. Gaaah!