How to become an Internet f*ckwad

Posted: Thursday, November 05, 2009 | | Labels:

In the past two weeks, I've seen some pretty nasty and, I daresay, childish squabbles in my own neck of the internet. There are some people who go out of their way just to piss people off thus validating the Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory.

After a weekend of hell moderating in the Macworld Forums two weekends ago, Christopher Breen shares his thoughts on what you need to do to be declared persona non grata by the online community. Below is my take on his Eight Steps to Internet Unpopularity.

  1. You don't have a donkey for a sidekick. You don't have a swashbuckling cat as your ally. Oh, wait. Wrong monster. Anyway, don't be a troll.
  2. Zealotry in any form is unwelcome. Unless it's Apple. (It's a jest).
  3. Google is god. Ask and you shall receive... just make sure you phrase your query correctly.
  4. Their is no such thing as teh Internet Grammer Police. It's not you're job to be one.
  5. Stick and stones can break your bones, but name-calling makes you a douchebag (circular thing going on here).
  6. Know what Godwin's Law is and avoid it like a plague.
  7. A promotion or two a day is fine. Blog post, contest, iPhone app. Three to five is annoying. More than five is plain rude.
  8. Grudge. Nice movie (the Japanese version). Not nice to take it online.
Remember: Don't be a fuckwad.
Penny Arcade's Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory